For our Christmas parties at PADT we generally have over 40 employees so a traditional secret Santa gift exchange takes to long. So a couple of years ago we downloaded a right-left gift exchange story from the internet and it was a big hit. We ran out of stories on the internet, so we started writing our own, usually in some sort of over-the-top style. This year we have a cationary fairy tale. Here is how it works.
Everyone gets their gift and forms a big circle in the middle of the room. Someone with a strong voice reads the story and every time the world LEFT is read, everyone passes the package they have to the left. Every time the world RIGHT is read, everyone passes the package they have to their right. You should pause a bit at each LEFT/RIGHT to give people a chance to pass.
You can find previous years stories here:
– Film Noir Christmas
– Science Fiction Christmas
– Romance Christmas
The Wooden Horse
In a village, that sits on the left bank of the river Dreamwald, there is a good and generous family, the Leftmulds. The father is the last barrel wright left in the duchy of Cornwil-o-day-leffon. He has a wife, two gorgeous twin daughters, and a son name… Albert. Albert was willful and spoiled. He thought he was always right and he always wanted what he wanted right now.
One day, about right when the cows needed to come in from pasture, Albert stormed in to his father’s workshop, walked right up to his father, and said: You have left me no choice but to go on strike. I demand you make me a wooden horse toy right now.
“Albert” his father said “You left the door open. Please close it.”
Albert replied: “I don’t care if I left the door open, you promised me a horse and I want it now. “
His father said “I told you, when you clean the right side of the barn, and there is no mud left on the floor, and there is no hay left outside, I will give you your horse”
“I hate you! I wish you had left me with the stork! I’m leaving right now”
And with that, he stormed out. All is father said was “You still left the door open my son. Something is not… correct with you”
Albert ran from the village. Right past the mill, right past the well, and right out the gate into the dark and ominous Dreamwald forest. He soon slowed, for the run had left him out of breath. But he kept walking and walking. Presently he noticed an old woman in black standing right in the middle of the path. He walked right up to her and said. “Excuse me old woman, but you are in my way, I would ask that you step aside right now.”
The old woman peered from beneath her hood and said “I’m waiting for you Albert. You left a wish at the wishing stone last night. I’m here to make it right.”
“You have my wooden horse?” Albert asked, having left off the idea of getting past this women.
“I do, but you must promise to give me whatever I want. Promise right now. “
He was left with no choice “I promise”
There was a boom and a crash and right next to Albert there was a gorgeous wooden horse. It left him breathless, and for the first time in his life, something left him speechless as well. It was more than he had hoped for.
“Is it all right?” asked the old crown.
“Oh yes” he replied “It is defiantly all right.
And then she began to cackle. The noise left his ears ringing it was so loud. And them POOF, Albert was no longer in the woods. He was inside a hut, tied right to a spit, left spinning over an open fire.
The old women continued to cackle as she pinched his left arm and licked her licks.
He screamed “Oh no! This is not right! In fairy tales the little child outsmarts the old witch. You have not left me a chance to even try!”
“You looked so tasty, I didn’t think it was right to play that silly old game. I decided to just put you right on the spit and roast you right away.”
Albert began to sob as the heat of the flames became more and more uncomfortable. He was left with a feeling of utter despair.
Then, to his left, he heard the sound of sleigh bells, then he heard the stomping of many animals. Then one of the hut doors, the one on the left, opened up and a man in a big rid suit stepped inside and pointed at the old lady.
“Ismerelda! You have left me no choice. Yes this boy is naughty, but you are worse. You have no right to cook him, no matter how selfish and lazy he is!” He lifted a staff in his right hand and brought it down with a thud on the ground. A blinding flash of light filled the hut and then snow began to fall right from the ceiling. Big, wet flakes fell right on to the witch and quickly covered her, freezing her right where she stood. The snow also fell right on the fire, till there were no flames left.
Albert freed his right hand, then his right ankle, and then untied his… other arm and leg.
“Thank you Santa! I thought I was left for dead!”
As the old man walked to the other door in the hut, the right door, he turned and said. “Don’t thank me little boy. Thank your good parents and sisters. When you left them, you left them heartbroken and they asked for my help. So I came right away and did what I could. Let this be a lesson to you. You need to learn Wrong from Right!”
And with that, he left the hut, jumped into his sleigh, flew away, and left Albert with nothing but his thoughts.